In 2008 I published a book, How To Stay When You Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life from Whiner to Winner. I wrote it a few years before that but it sat in a drawer for a while. Before that it was a speech I gave to a few people who were feeling beaten down by work and before that ... well, I lived most of it.
The story is about two friends who are pressing hard at their careers. One is fortunate to be working with a great boss who has mentored and challenged her to be her best. Unfortunately the other has had the opposite experience. He has been through a heavy rotation of managers, many of whom spoke a good game but never really showed up to play.
It’s a non-traditional business book in that it’s half screenplay and half workbook. I wrote it in the hopes that others would pick up a few tips they could use to help bring positive action to themselves or others who were disillusioned in their jobs.
Naturally I was thrilled to be asked to participate in Ken Blanchard’s LeadershipLiveCast, “Quit and Stayed” on January 25, 2012. As a recovering quitter I know how tempting it is to whine and blame everything on burnout even if you’re acting like an arsonist. For me, I knew I had to learn how to stay, even though I wanted to quit. So I began to re-script my life from whiner to winner.
I started with my attitude; I began to look at things as challenges aching to be solved, not insurmountable problems. Next I began to question what it was I really wanted? The answer didn’t come right away because I was so entrenched by all the things I didn’t want. So I tried a different tactic and asked myself, “Why are you still here?” After all, when people want to quit, they quit. When they don’t, it’s because some secondary benefit is being met and usually it’s for one of three reasons.
- To work on your personal development.
- To work with enriching people.
- To work on something bigger than yourself.
Figuring that out helped me stay during a rough patch, It helped me to continue to provide for my family and as a manager helped me to reengage with my coworkers.
As a leader it put me in a better frame of mind and I used the same questions to help those who I saw were mentally quitting.
- What’s going right?
- What do you really want?
- What’s keeping you here?
- What will you do in the meantime?
Most people aren’t going to stay in the same position let alone same industry for their whole career. As a leader, if you can help them get to the next place faster, you’ll both be more engaged and productive.
I hope you’ll be able to join the webinar this week or pick up my book. I’ve learned a few things about people, business and publishing in the time that’s passed since it came out, so I’d love to hear your stories and feedback that I may include in a new edition later in the year.
Here's part of an old letter which illustrates a still common concern of many people.
Dear ____,
In the last two to three years, I have devoured many of your books and audio programs. They have educated and inspired me. I'm 31-years-old, a college graduate, married nine years and we're expecting our first born in August. I'm a frontline manager with ____ Corporation. On good days I feel unstoppable, achieving many goals throughout the day and week. There are other times however, when work-wise I feel very unfulfilled even though I earn accolades, receive awards and recognition. I suppose it falls to the basic "know what you want" mantra. The problem may rest in having too many hopes that are too large.I enjoy writing and have had a couple of agents but not sold any work. I enjoy the idea of politics and the ability to oversee and improve the lives of a great number of people, but I am not involved in any community activities. I constantly strive to be in a leadership position but, I'm unfulfilled in the journey. Do you have any advice and how to adjust my goals to fulfill them?
Sound familiar? It may if you find even in the moments of greatness in what you do, you still have a nagging sense of unfulfillment.
Certain skills, knowledge and a commitment to do a good job can carry you so far. The author of this letter had vision and limited action, but no passion and therefore was not working on purpose. I know this definitively because this is a draft of a letter I was going to send to one of my mentors eleven years ago. I never did. No passion, remember? It's fun when your future self can give advice to your past self. I wish they had met a little sooner.
The level of dissatisfaction I felt just over a decade ago did kick me into action. In the time since then I earned my masters degree in executive leadership where I developed tools that helped equip me to do battle with the poor leaders I encountered. I gained the confidence to pursue new business skills. The experience led me to write, "How to Stay When You Want to Quit" a small but powerful book that has reclaimed people's careers and improved business relationships. Now I'm running my own business and hopefully in some way helping people improve their lives.
Do I have too many lofty goals? Probably, but that doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I know the difference between goals and wishes and I don't spend as much time wishing things to happen. I find it that making things happen is much more fulfilling and so should you.
If you're not feeling like you're achieving the things you wanted to three, five or ten years ago, start examining why and decide if you still want those goals. If so, are you ready to get serious about achieving them? If not, it's time to eject them and make room for some new ones. Yes, it's okay to do that. It's better to change your mind and be successful than it is to stay on a course that's taking you down the wrong direction.
Start acting on purpose, not by habit.
Call me crazy, but I believe a good story gets better when retold by others.
How often have you read a fictional book and thought, “Well that was stupid,” when in your judgment the author took a wrong turn. Here’s your chance to stop and fix problems before you plop down hard earned money for a piece of pulp.
Last year I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) You begin writing November 1 and the goal is to write a 50,000-word novel by midnight, November 30. I achieved that goal with a story I titled "Three Blinks and a Sigh". As is so often the case with people, I did nothing else with the output of that effort. For someone who makes his living helping others achieve their goals, this is tragic.
To remedy that I’m going public with my early draft fiction writing, one chapter at a time and with your help it will be a strong, satisfying story that you and hundreds of thousands of others would gladly buy for themselves and three or four of their closest friends.
Here’s your chance to spare the reader, not the writer. VISIT the new “READER FEEDBACK” page on my website karlbimshas.com and CLICK the orange JOIN button. ADD your email and click SUBMIT, this will bring you to a registration page for a variety of interests. At the bottom you’ll see a check box for my novella, Three Blinks and a Sigh - Feedback, CHECK THAT (and any others you’re interested in) and you’ll receive notice when a new chapter is posted.
Under all the chapters is a Feedback Survey form you can easily fill out right on the site. Use it for each chapter you read, or save it for your thoughts on the entire book! It’s up to you.
Writing is serious business, but this is meant to be fun for you and me. If you’re a writer, you know sharing early drafts can be gut wrenching. If you’re a reader, you always find something you’d like to improve. There’s no guarantee I’ll use all your suggestions, but you can bet I want to hear all of them.
If you’re a writer or a reader, or even both, I hope you’ll join in on the fun. The first chapter will be posted soon so JOIN NOW!
