It has been one month since I unexpectedly and very suddenly lost my sister, Kathi.The days between then and now have been filled with confusion, pain, sorrow, and profound grief.They've also been lightened by laughter, education, friendship, reverence, and a strengthening of love among family.
My sister touched so many lives during her too brief time with us. We were all awestruck to see three full rooms and the foyer of the funeral home filled with well-wishers sharing their respect and humor-filled memories of her.
I was asked to prepare and deliver remarks at her memorial service.Although I don’t entirely know why, I feel compelled to share those words here, on this date.I continue to grieve and like many who lose a loved one, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing it properly.
I suspect there will be periodic dark days ahead.I take comfort in knowing that for me, a lightening sky is emerging from the bleakness of the past month and the ray of light, undoubtedly fueled by Kathi’s laughter, is shimmering on the horizon.
Remembering Kathi Bimshas
November 6, 1956 – July 24, 2009
Today, we celebrate Kathi’s life.Her unexpected passing has left us all in shock.By now she is in the protective arms of both her grandfathers; listening to a lullaby from her grandmother, Ana and sharing jokes --some of which make her giggle and others that produce her trademark burst of laughter, the kind that made her double over and brought tears to her eyes.She has likely offered a wager with someone up there as to which brother will be the first to remind everyone that she was the oldest.A fact she liked to lord over each of us until she turned 29, at which point she claims to have stopped counting the years.
There is a surreal quality to all of this. Kathi would be thrilled to have everyone here and to catch up and share a story of some adventure or misadventure. She could be counted on to attend every family function. I suspect, she always will.
She became the family historian, partly because of her role as the eldest, but mostly because of her love of a good story. And did she love to tell a story.Over and over … this would drive me crazy as a young teen.We did many things together, from running errands to doing laundry to playing games.Knowing Kathi, you know that some event always took place on her outings.It could be a driver who cut her off, or how she burnt water trying to cook hot dogs, or her spotting one of her elusive hawks.Often I would be with her and witnessed whatever happened.She would immediately recap it to me, then she would tell the story to Mom, and then retell it to each subsequent relative she saw, then to friends at work and then, on the anniversary of the event, she would tell the story again.What I came to realize in later years, was that each time she told it, there was no variation.She delivered it pitch perfect every time and with just as much passion or humor the 40th time telling it as she did the first.Today, I long to hear her recite just one more story.
Kathi always had a childlike curiosity that never went away.She had a tremendous thirst for knowledge, particularly on the subjects she already knew pretty well. If I told her of a bird I saw, her eyes would widen and she would ask, “Was it a Wren or a Finch?”
“I don’t know,” I would shrug, “It was red.”
She loved her books, like Pride and Prejudice, Anne of Green Gables, the wit of Ogden Nash, or a good pulp mystery.She was extremely intelligent, and if you weren’t sure, you could ask her, and she would tell you she was.
Before Wikipedia, there was Kathi.She was a great resource for information, but playing Scrabble was a nightmare for both of us.She would arrange her tiles to spell something like, “Loquacious” to which I would place an “N” under an “O” to create “On”.Her scores were typically triple digit and I was lucky to break into the low twenties.
Kathi loved a good puzzle and liked to be stumped.Never mean-spirited, she hated being tricked, but appreciated wit.I think, our favorite story of each other is when I was three or four years old, at a party, and people were popping balloons with pins.A little later, I was running around and somehow she “accidentally” poked me with a pin.I apparently screamed very loud and was terrified.She comforted me on the foot of the stairs until I regained my composure.It seems my young mind was afraid I was going to pop like one of the balloons.She felt horrible and was worried that she had traumatized me for life.She held me in her arms and I promptly deflated, complete with the whooshing sound and wiggled to the floor.We laughed together.And so it was for many years.
Her taste in music ranged from The Cowsills to Kenny Chesney, From K.C. and the Sunshine Band to Alice Cooper and Barry Manillow.This of course inspired her beloved Mandy, the caramel colored Pekinese that was part of her life for so long.
She loved animals of all types.Cats, dogs, snakes, birds.Domesticated or wild, she appreciated them very much.Except for spiders.Otherwise, she had a certain affinity for wildlife.It dawned on me that this past March marked the 30th anniversary of Kathi’s and my first trip to California.Dad brought us along on a business trip, first to San Francisco and then to San Diego, the place I now call home.While there, we visited the Zoo and Sea World.It was these two place in particular that I think cemented Kathi’s resolve to love animals, no matter what, because they did not treat her very well on this trip. A walrus sneezed on her, and a camel spat. She witnessed the cloud created by a beluga whale and the pile deposited by an elephant.She averted a stream from a Clydesdale horse, and whatever it was the monkeys were throwing.She was finally able to see real live Koalas, who were sound asleep. She was also the first to see a newborn polar bear emerge from its cave.Through it all, she was able to find great humor.A trait that was often repeated in her life.She didn’t take herself too seriously.
But sometimes she did.Although she was not often afraid to try new things, from exotic foods to rafting down rivers, to line dancing or skiing, or should I say, attempting to ski.She was open to experiences and didn’t like giving up.Her interests never really waned as much as were replaced by something else.
She fought demons with that same determination and resolve.Kathi could fight with passion and hold a grudge, but she also made peace.She was complex.Sometimes like a jellybean, she had a tough shell but a mushy center.To some she was more like a peach, soft on the outside with a hard to crack solid center.Either way, with Kathi, there was always sweetness.
She loved her family, particularly her nieces and nephews.She spoke of her friends often, and to her friends, she spoke of her family.Her career, as with many people, was a source of elation and frustration depending on the circumstances.Her 33 years at SunLife (an aptly named company for her disposition) provided stability, as did the countless coworkers she interacted with daily.She felt a sense of responsibility to family members, often helping with taxes, acting as chauffeur and offering her home for visits. Kathi was also an artisan who enjoyed painting, ceramics, and intricate needlework.She adored nature and frequently photographed flowers and birds.I would be remiss if I didn’t touch on her photographs of nature.I think we have all see the hawks, the seals, the buffleheads that looked suspiciously like specks of dirt on the lens.That was the dues paying, because she improved with each shot.Many of her pictures taken from the last five to ten years have been spectacular.
Kathi had fears.Spiders.Flying.Driving in Boston.And yet her fears did not prevent her from fulfilling life-long dreams of trips to Europe and Australia.Nor did it prevent her from racing me to LoganAirport during Friday rush hour on more than one occasion.
A well-wisher, in an attempt to comfort me, reminded me that Kathi’s work on Earth had finished.I disagree.I think it’s just begun.I think what she leaves behind is a catalyst for us to live a little different.We have come from distant places to be here to honor, remember, and celebrate Kathi.And to those distant places, we will return.But I can think of no reason why that means we should return to the status quo.Although in some areas of her life she was a private person, Kathi was terrific in sending a quick email or handwritten note to stay in touch with people.Let’s follow her lead.No matter how busy you are, make the time to tell others what you are doing.Send a Christmas letter, send an email, have a Hallmark moment.As our family and extended family of friends grows, let us ensure our roots are not shallow.We are often polite and don’t want to interfere in each other’s lives.I think we can stand to be a little bit nosy, and show interest.Stay connected.
Kathi, even when not at her best, was always able to find humor.I will forever remember her spontaneous joy each time she saw a hawk. I suspect she is soaring on the backs of them now, watching over us, contemplating dropping a little something on a few of us just for a good laugh.
Though she was taken from us too soon, she has given to each of us great gifts.Her humor.Her love and friendship. Her love of God’s creatures.Her spirit and passion.Smile when you think of Kathi, and grace others with kindness, as she has graced each of us.
It has been one month since I unexpectedly and very suddenly lost my sister, Kathi.The days between then and now have been filled with confusion, pain, sorrow, and profound grief.They've also been lightened by laughter, education, friendship, reverence, and a strengthening of love among family.
My sister touched so many lives during her too brief time with us. We were all awestruck to see three full rooms and the foyer of the funeral home filled with well-wishers sharing their respect and humor-filled memories of her.
I was asked to prepare and deliver remarks at her memorial service.Although I don’t entirely know why, I feel compelled to share those words here, on this date.I continue to grieve and like many who lose a loved one, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing it properly.
I suspect there will be periodic dark days ahead.I take comfort in knowing that for me, a lightening sky is emerging from the bleakness of the past month and the ray of light, undoubtedly fueled by Kathi’s laughter, is shimmering on the horizon.
Remembering Kathi Bimshas
November 6, 1956 – July 24, 2009
Today, we celebrate Kathi’s life.Her unexpected passing has left us all in shock.By now she is in the protective arms of both her grandfathers; listening to a lullaby from her grandmother, Ana and sharing jokes --some of which make her giggle and others that produce her trademark burst of laughter, the kind that made her double over and brought tears to her eyes.She has likely offered a wager with someone up there as to which brother will be the first to remind everyone that she was the oldest.A fact she liked to lord over each of us until she turned 29, at which point she claims to have stopped counting the years.
There is a surreal quality to all of this. Kathi would be thrilled to have everyone here and to catch up and share a story of some adventure or misadventure. She could be counted on to attend every family function. I suspect, she always will.
She became the family historian, partly because of her role as the eldest, but mostly because of her love of a good story. And did she love to tell a story.Over and over … this would drive me crazy as a young teen.We did many things together, from running errands to doing laundry to playing games.Knowing Kathi, you know that some event always took place on her outings.It could be a driver who cut her off, or how she burnt water trying to cook hot dogs, or her spotting one of her elusive hawks.Often I would be with her and witnessed whatever happened.She would immediately recap it to me, then she would tell the story to Mom, and then retell it to each subsequent relative she saw, then to friends at work and then, on the anniversary of the event, she would tell the story again.What I came to realize in later years, was that each time she told it, there was no variation.She delivered it pitch perfect every time and with just as much passion or humor the 40th time telling it as she did the first.Today, I long to hear her recite just one more story.
Kathi always had a childlike curiosity that never went away.She had a tremendous thirst for knowledge, particularly on the subjects she already knew pretty well. If I told her of a bird I saw, her eyes would widen and she would ask, “Was it a Wren or a Finch?”
“I don’t know,” I would shrug, “It was red.”
She loved her books, like Pride and Prejudice, Anne of Green Gables, the wit of Ogden Nash, or a good pulp mystery.She was extremely intelligent, and if you weren’t sure, you could ask her, and she would tell you she was.
Before Wikipedia, there was Kathi.She was a great resource for information, but playing Scrabble was a nightmare for both of us.She would arrange her tiles to spell something like, “Loquacious” to which I would place an “N” under an “O” to create “On”.Her scores were typically triple digit and I was lucky to break into the low twenties.
Kathi loved a good puzzle and liked to be stumped.Never mean-spirited, she hated being tricked, but appreciated wit.I think, our favorite story of each other is when I was three or four years old, at a party, and people were popping balloons with pins.A little later, I was running around and somehow she “accidentally” poked me with a pin.I apparently screamed very loud and was terrified.She comforted me on the foot of the stairs until I regained my composure.It seems my young mind was afraid I was going to pop like one of the balloons.She felt horrible and was worried that she had traumatized me for life.She held me in her arms and I promptly deflated, complete with the whooshing sound and wiggled to the floor.We laughed together.And so it was for many years.
Her taste in music ranged from The Cowsills to Kenny Chesney, From K.C. and the Sunshine Band to Alice Cooper and Barry Manillow.This of course inspired her beloved Mandy, the caramel colored Pekinese that was part of her life for so long.
She loved animals of all types.Cats, dogs, snakes, birds.Domesticated or wild, she appreciated them very much.Except for spiders.Otherwise, she had a certain affinity for wildlife.It dawned on me that this past March marked the 30th anniversary of Kathi’s and my first trip to California.Dad brought us along on a business trip, first to San Francisco and then to San Diego, the place I now call home.While there, we visited the Zoo and Sea World.It was these two place in particular that I think cemented Kathi’s resolve to love animals, no matter what, because they did not treat her very well on this trip. A walrus sneezed on her, and a camel spat. She witnessed the cloud created by a beluga whale and the pile deposited by an elephant.She averted a stream from a Clydesdale horse, and whatever it was the monkeys were throwing.She was finally able to see real live Koalas, who were sound asleep. She was also the first to see a newborn polar bear emerge from its cave.Through it all, she was able to find great humor.A trait that was often repeated in her life.She didn’t take herself too seriously.
But sometimes she did.Although she was not often afraid to try new things, from exotic foods to rafting down rivers, to line dancing or skiing, or should I say, attempting to ski.She was open to experiences and didn’t like giving up.Her interests never really waned as much as were replaced by something else.
She fought demons with that same determination and resolve.Kathi could fight with passion and hold a grudge, but she also made peace.She was complex.Sometimes like a jellybean, she had a tough shell but a mushy center.To some she was more like a peach, soft on the outside with a hard to crack solid center.Either way, with Kathi, there was always sweetness.
She loved her family, particularly her nieces and nephews.She spoke of her friends often, and to her friends, she spoke of her family.Her career, as with many people, was a source of elation and frustration depending on the circumstances.Her 33 years at SunLife (an aptly named company for her disposition) provided stability, as did the countless coworkers she interacted with daily.She felt a sense of responsibility to family members, often helping with taxes, acting as chauffeur and offering her home for visits. Kathi was also an artisan who enjoyed painting, ceramics, and intricate needlework.She adored nature and frequently photographed flowers and birds.I would be remiss if I didn’t touch on her photographs of nature.I think we have all see the hawks, the seals, the buffleheads that looked suspiciously like specks of dirt on the lens.That was the dues paying, because she improved with each shot.Many of her pictures taken from the last five to ten years have been spectacular.
Kathi had fears.Spiders.Flying.Driving in Boston.And yet her fears did not prevent her from fulfilling life-long dreams of trips to Europe and Australia.Nor did it prevent her from racing me to LoganAirport during Friday rush hour on more than one occasion.
A well-wisher, in an attempt to comfort me, reminded me that Kathi’s work on Earth had finished.I disagree.I think it’s just begun.I think what she leaves behind is a catalyst for us to live a little different.We have come from distant places to be here to honor, remember, and celebrate Kathi.And to those distant places, we will return.But I can think of no reason why that means we should return to the status quo.Although in some areas of her life she was a private person, Kathi was terrific in sending a quick email or handwritten note to stay in touch with people.Let’s follow her lead.No matter how busy you are, make the time to tell others what you are doing.Send a Christmas letter, send an email, have a Hallmark moment.As our family and extended family of friends grows, let us ensure our roots are not shallow.We are often polite and don’t want to interfere in each other’s lives.I think we can stand to be a little bit nosy, and show interest.Stay connected.
Kathi, even when not at her best, was always able to find humor.I will forever remember her spontaneous joy each time she saw a hawk. I suspect she is soaring on the backs of them now, watching over us, contemplating dropping a little something on a few of us just for a good laugh.
Though she was taken from us too soon, she has given to each of us great gifts.Her humor.Her love and friendship. Her love of God’s creatures.Her spirit and passion.Smile when you think of Kathi, and grace others with kindness, as she has graced each of us.
Today’s moon landing anniversary seems as good a day as any to share a little of what makes me tick.
Forty years ago, man landed on the moon.Although far too young to notice (not even a year old at the time), notions surrounding the moon have captivated me.For thousands of years prior, people would look up toward it as it hung in the sky, a symbol of our collective dreams.Early on there was fear, but soon it was replaced by wonder, imagination and greater understanding.Now, for many who look at the moon it symbolizes accomplishment.A feat our forefathers couldn’t imagine but many a grandfather got to witness.This huge achievement, not just for the United State in the midst of a space race, but for mankind with the creation of new technologies, possibility thinking, ingenuity and the celebration of success.
The moon program has shaped me indirectly in other ways.My father headed a group that worked on guidance systems.He was passed over for the Apollo assignment, something I did not know until many years later.Obviously, he felt disappointment he diligently headed a less glamorous group.In time, that group grew in influence, budget, and prestige.Eventually the Apollo program ended and members from that team joined his organization, illustrating that sometimes the less glamorous route can be more fulfilling and rewarding in the long run, despite initial disappointments.You never know.
In 1962 President Kennedy, who helped bring out the best in people by having a clear goal, uttered one of my favorite leadership quotes.
"We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills. Because that challenge is one that we're willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one we intend to win."
Every generation of humankind had been staring up toward the sky wondering about the moon.Then not too long ago, one of us says, let's do it, let's go there within ten years -- and we did it. A fascinating feat that illustrates just about anything is possible with vision, passion, action and a deadline.
I enjoy inspiring people who in turn inspire themselves; to help others find their strengths and see what they have to offer our joint endeavors. I help others find their vision or purpose and help them clear the path to their achievements by tearing down obstacles that are in the way. I do this partly for selfish reasons. I like how it recharges me and gives me energy, forcing me to take the focus off myself, and put it on others. It gives me the opportunity to combat the damaging effects of poor leaders, influencers, and others who abuse their power either through ignorance or through intent.
I also like measuring things.Not to see shortfalls but to see what we're capable of doing.I love to see the charts and graphs of goals and measurements of success.To see the results of common things in uncommon ways.
All this leads me to ask, on this day forty years after one of our greatest achievements. What current symbol surrounds us collectively, that can organize and measure the best of our energies and skills?If that is too broad, think of yourself and ask, what do you need to work on that is not easy, but will serve to organize and measure the best of your energies and skills?What challenges are you willing to accept, unwilling to postpone and intend to win and how can I help you?
Today’s moon landing anniversary seems as good a day as any to share a little of what makes me tick.
Forty years ago, man landed on the moon.Although far too young to notice (not even a year old at the time), notions surrounding the moon have captivated me.For thousands of years prior, people would look up toward it as it hung in the sky, a symbol of our collective dreams.Early on there was fear, but soon it was replaced by wonder, imagination and greater understanding.Now, for many who look at the moon it symbolizes accomplishment.A feat our forefathers couldn’t imagine but many a grandfather got to witness.This huge achievement, not just for the United State in the midst of a space race, but for mankind with the creation of new technologies, possibility thinking, ingenuity and the celebration of success.
The moon program has shaped me indirectly in other ways.My father headed a group that worked on guidance systems.He was passed over for the Apollo assignment, something I did not know until many years later.Obviously, he felt disappointment he diligently headed a less glamorous group.In time, that group grew in influence, budget, and prestige.Eventually the Apollo program ended and members from that team joined his organization, illustrating that sometimes the less glamorous route can be more fulfilling and rewarding in the long run, despite initial disappointments.You never know.
In 1962 President Kennedy, who helped bring out the best in people by having a clear goal, uttered one of my favorite leadership quotes.
"We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills. Because that challenge is one that we're willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one we intend to win."
Every generation of humankind had been staring up toward the sky wondering about the moon.Then not too long ago, one of us says, let's do it, let's go there within ten years -- and we did it. A fascinating feat that illustrates just about anything is possible with vision, passion, action and a deadline.
I enjoy inspiring people who in turn inspire themselves; to help others find their strengths and see what they have to offer our joint endeavors. I help others find their vision or purpose and help them clear the path to their achievements by tearing down obstacles that are in the way. I do this partly for selfish reasons. I like how it recharges me and gives me energy, forcing me to take the focus off myself, and put it on others. It gives me the opportunity to combat the damaging effects of poor leaders, influencers, and others who abuse their power either through ignorance or through intent.
I also like measuring things.Not to see shortfalls but to see what we're capable of doing.I love to see the charts and graphs of goals and measurements of success.To see the results of common things in uncommon ways.
All this leads me to ask, on this day forty years after one of our greatest achievements. What current symbol surrounds us collectively, that can organize and measure the best of our energies and skills?If that is too broad, think of yourself and ask, what do you need to work on that is not easy, but will serve to organize and measure the best of your energies and skills?What challenges are you willing to accept, unwilling to postpone and intend to win and how can I help you?
Writing is a leadership skill. To convey or challenge an idea and to persuade into action through the written word has always been a valuable, if under appreciated talent. Newspapers and traditional books sales may be down, but writing is up. Think about it. Anything you read, anything, was first written. Emails, reports, newsletters, reviews, eBooks, status updates on LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter. What you see on television, in movies and at plays began at a written script to convey an idea. Yes, even “reality” shows.
If you want to work on your leadership, work on your writing. Here are six words of advice.
Write Writers write. You have to face the blank page or screen and begin to fill it. Start with something; an outline, note cards, a napkin, it doesn’t matter. Just begin.
Revise No matter how eloquent you think you are, your first draft is bound to have a bit of uncertainty or a lack of clarity. It’s rare to get it right on the very first pass. Rewriting makes things better. Cut, reword and simplify what you’re trying to convey. Your readers will appreciate it.
Release Eventually, you must stop your editing and revisions. At some point as you were writing with a burst of inspiration you may have felt your work was genius; but now you’re holding it back in an effort to make it perfect. This is a mistake. Most won’t notice or care, and those that do, will always find something to criticize you on anyway. Let it go and share what you write with others.
Receive Receive the feedback on your work gracefully. Some will disagree with you, or be critical. Some won’t notice your words at all, but will be inexplicably moved by them. The written word always makes a difference, but the author may never know it.
Rejoice Writing is about creating. Forming words in the right order to illicit a desired response and actually committing them to the page is no simple task. Sharing those idea and thoughts with others can expose vulnerabilities. That exposure is what keeps many from writing and those who write do from becoming better. Writing is not an effortless activity so make the time to celebrate your achievement with everything you write. On occasion you may fail to articulate what you intended adequately. Celebrate anyway. You’ve demonstrated leadership in caring enough to capture your thoughts for the benefit of others.
Repeat Do it again. Continue to hone the craft of writing. Laziness in writing is laziness in leadership so keep exercising. Even if you only write 140 characters at a time, make them sing. Just as in leadership, effective writing must mix art and science. Through repetition, you will begin to explore the nuances of each.
Writing is a leadership skill. To convey or challenge an idea and to persuade into action through the written word has always been a valuable, if under appreciated talent. Newspapers and traditional books sales may be down, but writing is up. Think about it. Anything you read, anything, was first written. Emails, reports, newsletters, reviews, eBooks, status updates on LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter. What you see on television, in movies and at plays began at a written script to convey an idea. Yes, even “reality” shows.
If you want to work on your leadership, work on your writing. Here are six words of advice.
Write Writers write. You have to face the blank page or screen and begin to fill it. Start with something; an outline, note cards, a napkin, it doesn’t matter. Just begin.
Revise No matter how eloquent you think you are, your first draft is bound to have a bit of uncertainty or a lack of clarity. It’s rare to get it right on the very first pass. Rewriting makes things better. Cut, reword and simplify what you’re trying to convey. Your readers will appreciate it.
Release Eventually, you must stop your editing and revisions. At some point as you were writing with a burst of inspiration you may have felt your work was genius; but now you’re holding it back in an effort to make it perfect. This is a mistake. Most won’t notice or care, and those that do, will always find something to criticize you on anyway. Let it go and share what you write with others.
Receive Receive the feedback on your work gracefully. Some will disagree with you, or be critical. Some won’t notice your words at all, but will be inexplicably moved by them. The written word always makes a difference, but the author may never know it.
Rejoice Writing is about creating. Forming words in the right order to illicit a desired response and actually committing them to the page is no simple task. Sharing those idea and thoughts with others can expose vulnerabilities. That exposure is what keeps many from writing and those who write do from becoming better. Writing is not an effortless activity so make the time to celebrate your achievement with everything you write. On occasion you may fail to articulate what you intended adequately. Celebrate anyway. You’ve demonstrated leadership in caring enough to capture your thoughts for the benefit of others.
Repeat Do it again. Continue to hone the craft of writing. Laziness in writing is laziness in leadership so keep exercising. Even if you only write 140 characters at a time, make them sing. Just as in leadership, effective writing must mix art and science. Through repetition, you will begin to explore the nuances of each.
Like most Americans, I become exceptionally patriotic around July 4th and introspective about the nation’s history, my own history, and the future of both. I vividly recall backyard barbecues, some of which were warm and delightful and some soggy but equally memorable. I remember our nation's bicentennial celebration and setting firecrackers off, much to my mother's dismay. I remember how firework shows terrified me as a child but now bring inspiration, awe and pride. I recall ad hoc barbecues in Boston and spending all day at the Esplanade waiting for the Boston Pops to perform. Nearly twenty years ago my wife and I celebrated our first Independence Day together as a married couple on the rooftop with friends. The night was full of music and synchronized colors. Soon the finale and all its illumination transformed the evening into daylight. The crackle and boom sounded like a war and we smiled with exhilaration and expectant joy.
Sadly, the nation has been through several real wars since then and undoubtedly, there will be more. Our nephews, cousins and friends have seen combat or have been stationed in some of the most dangerous places on earth. It occurred to me, and thankfully, he does not know it, since my son's birth in 2003, the nation has not been at peace. The resources of the country are so grand, the sacrifices of others so great that he has been insulated from the harsh realities of war.
I was recently watching a report from an embedded journalist in Afghanistan who was caught up in a firefight. The action was loud and captured the attention and imagination of my curious boy. His questions on who was fighting and why and if they were dying and why began to become increasingly difficult to answer. I found myself explaining terrorism and how brave men and women protect us every day. That yes, some die and no, they do not get the same attention that Michael Jackson does and that’s one reason why we should always thank those who volunteer to protect us.
How do we explain America to our children? That people wanting to do harm to us is not a new thing. That although we are peace loving, we are also a violent and brash culture. That for all our problems and dysfunction like our insatiable consumption of drugs, our fascination with any salacious story, our self-inflicted pain caused by antiquated healthcare, education, and infrastructure systems, we are also envied. Why? Because the American gene pool is made up of leaders, innovators, artists, and visionaries. People from every nation in the world have risked their lives to come here, to worship, to love, to create something better.
At 233 years, we are a relatively young nation culturally, but our form of government is one of the more enduring compared to the 203 other nations on the planet. Yet we are envied for the same reason we are hated. We value freedom and because we have it, we often take it for granted. We seem to treasure it most when it is at risk; otherwise, because we are fairly secure in it, something else often captures our attention. Consider the television coverage of the conflict in Iran. The voices there hint at a fragile democracy, much like our forefathers did, though this movement is buoyed predominantly by educated women, young and old. It’s a story that should transfix us. Freedom is on the march. Instead, it is put to the side in favor of a more accessible political sex scandal or Michael Jackson's premature death. We believe celebrity mystique is more appropriate summer fare than revolution. Revolutions seem to fit better in the autumn after we've recharged our batteries but before the holidays. What hubris. What audacity. What truth. Detractors think it's blissful ignorance. That to be truly great, we need to organize our problems and solve them in a linear way. America doesn't work that way. This nation has the talent, enthusiasm, and skill to solve almost any problem. That's why it's so maddening when we don't address critical problems more timely. We could make things easier for ourselves, but as Americans, the easy way is seldom the most fun and we like a challenge.
What our nation has is boldness and maturity. Many nations are similar to the kids in the backseat of a car on a road trip. Sometimes we sing or play fun games together, but invariably they ask, "Are we there yet?" They are vocal. They complain. They want us to pull over just as we are gathering speed. The one thing they never do is drive - nor do they want to. America is the parent. Our population’s attitude follows a continuum between the reluctant parent and the kind who are smothering. Like a parent, we will often question our abilities, our decisions, and ourselves. Others will challenge our authority, rebel, ask for money and sometimes seek our hugs. It is not our role to whine about it. It is our role to lead it. The world expects that of us.
Enjoy your weekend and the parades, fireworks, and celebrations. Thank those who came before you quietly and those who protect you loudly and then dedicate yourself to finding your own special way of leading and making the nation and the world better in some way, grand or small.
Like most Americans, I become exceptionally patriotic around July 4th and introspective about the nation’s history, my own history, and the future of both. I vividly recall backyard barbecues, some of which were warm and delightful and some soggy but equally memorable. I remember our nation's bicentennial celebration and setting firecrackers off, much to my mother's dismay. I remember how firework shows terrified me as a child but now bring inspiration, awe and pride. I recall ad hoc barbecues in Boston and spending all day at the Esplanade waiting for the Boston Pops to perform. Nearly twenty years ago my wife and I celebrated our first Independence Day together as a married couple on the rooftop with friends. The night was full of music and synchronized colors. Soon the finale and all its illumination transformed the evening into daylight. The crackle and boom sounded like a war and we smiled with exhilaration and expectant joy.
Sadly, the nation has been through several real wars since then and undoubtedly, there will be more. Our nephews, cousins and friends have seen combat or have been stationed in some of the most dangerous places on earth. It occurred to me, and thankfully, he does not know it, since my son's birth in 2003, the nation has not been at peace. The resources of the country are so grand, the sacrifices of others so great that he has been insulated from the harsh realities of war.
I was recently watching a report from an embedded journalist in Afghanistan who was caught up in a firefight. The action was loud and captured the attention and imagination of my curious boy. His questions on who was fighting and why and if they were dying and why began to become increasingly difficult to answer. I found myself explaining terrorism and how brave men and women protect us every day. That yes, some die and no, they do not get the same attention that Michael Jackson does and that’s one reason why we should always thank those who volunteer to protect us.
How do we explain America to our children? That people wanting to do harm to us is not a new thing. That although we are peace loving, we are also a violent and brash culture. That for all our problems and dysfunction like our insatiable consumption of drugs, our fascination with any salacious story, our self-inflicted pain caused by antiquated healthcare, education, and infrastructure systems, we are also envied. Why? Because the American gene pool is made up of leaders, innovators, artists, and visionaries. People from every nation in the world have risked their lives to come here, to worship, to love, to create something better.
At 233 years, we are a relatively young nation culturally, but our form of government is one of the more enduring compared to the 203 other nations on the planet. Yet we are envied for the same reason we are hated. We value freedom and because we have it, we often take it for granted. We seem to treasure it most when it is at risk; otherwise, because we are fairly secure in it, something else often captures our attention. Consider the television coverage of the conflict in Iran. The voices there hint at a fragile democracy, much like our forefathers did, though this movement is buoyed predominantly by educated women, young and old. It’s a story that should transfix us. Freedom is on the march. Instead, it is put to the side in favor of a more accessible political sex scandal or Michael Jackson's premature death. We believe celebrity mystique is more appropriate summer fare than revolution. Revolutions seem to fit better in the autumn after we've recharged our batteries but before the holidays. What hubris. What audacity. What truth. Detractors think it's blissful ignorance. That to be truly great, we need to organize our problems and solve them in a linear way. America doesn't work that way. This nation has the talent, enthusiasm, and skill to solve almost any problem. That's why it's so maddening when we don't address critical problems more timely. We could make things easier for ourselves, but as Americans, the easy way is seldom the most fun and we like a challenge.
What our nation has is boldness and maturity. Many nations are similar to the kids in the backseat of a car on a road trip. Sometimes we sing or play fun games together, but invariably they ask, "Are we there yet?" They are vocal. They complain. They want us to pull over just as we are gathering speed. The one thing they never do is drive - nor do they want to. America is the parent. Our population’s attitude follows a continuum between the reluctant parent and the kind who are smothering. Like a parent, we will often question our abilities, our decisions, and ourselves. Others will challenge our authority, rebel, ask for money and sometimes seek our hugs. It is not our role to whine about it. It is our role to lead it. The world expects that of us.
Enjoy your weekend and the parades, fireworks, and celebrations. Thank those who came before you quietly and those who protect you loudly and then dedicate yourself to finding your own special way of leading and making the nation and the world better in some way, grand or small.
Whenever people stand up for a change against a repressive status quo, it invigorates me. It could very well be that the change they are seeking is not substantively different, but be it instant or a slow progression, it is still evolution. Any moment that arouses the hearts and minds of people to stand up, seek truth and take peaceful action is a moment deserving of applause and support. When any nation moves closer to democracy or its populace exerts an effort to become “more perfect” it is cause for celebration. When citizens take action to expose its own nations’ hypocrisy - all the better.
Perhaps this belief is the mix of nature and nurture within me. My grandfather rescued his family and countless others in 1940’s Europe by skillfully squeezing past the suffocating grip of Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia. I was born and raised in Massachusetts where details about the heroic efforts of patriots in the American Revolution were weaved into school trips and bicentennial celebrations. In college, I walked along the same Boston streets and stood alongside the shadows of the same historic buildings and landmarks that witnessed the forming of our nation.
While in college, I watched the televised protests in Tiananmen Square, the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, the fall of the Soviet Union and the liberation of former Iron Curtained states. And although this nation has seen its own travesties, it remains the beacon of hope, a model for young republics and the envy of freedom loving people.
In contrast to twenty years ago, the newspapers and cable news organizations of today are comparatively impotent, but the Internet, the greatest and most affordable conduit of ideas civilization has ever seen, has come alive. YouTube, Facebook, Flickr and most notably Twitter have provided instant images and perspective from participants, sympathizers, foes and opportunists alike. At times, feeds of information channels have adopted a mob mentality themselves as revolutions have become participative. Disinformation, panic, fear, lemming-like regurgitation of conflicting stories have been mixed together with bravery, images of compassion, and ever present hope. The naive and the knave, the instigators, the healers, the scholars and the rogues all compete for attention. It is frustratingly difficult to separate the signal from the noise. Yet, if you love the pursuit of freedom, it is also beautiful.
Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” Still, cynics say there is no appreciable difference people sipping cappuccinos or playing on their Wii can have half a world away. That symbols like tinting your profile picture green or other signs of solidarity are equivalent to giving an alcoholic vagrant a dollar. It makes you feel better, clears your soul, but doesn't address the core issue. Maybe. Maybe not. How can you know? Freedom is addictive and any citizen of a free society enjoys seeing more of it. Realism tells us there is nothing we can individually do to affect change. However, realism didn't win the American Revolution. Faith, hope, determination and other intangibles did. So too, do those intangibles work today with every freedom loving movement.
Given our long history, freedom is a relatively new concept to humankind. It is still a fragile thing but it is desirable and we know we achieve greater things when we have it. Whether we broadcast it, or know it quietly in our heart, those who have a taste of freedom will always cheer and help those who are not. And in some incalculable way, make a difference in the process.
Whenever people stand up for a change against a repressive status quo, it invigorates me. It could very well be that the change they are seeking is not substantively different, but be it instant or a slow progression, it is still evolution. Any moment that arouses the hearts and minds of people to stand up, seek truth and take peaceful action is a moment deserving of applause and support. When any nation moves closer to democracy or its populace exerts an effort to become “more perfect” it is cause for celebration. When citizens take action to expose its own nations’ hypocrisy - all the better.
Perhaps this belief is the mix of nature and nurture within me. My grandfather rescued his family and countless others in 1940’s Europe by skillfully squeezing past the suffocating grip of Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia. I was born and raised in Massachusetts where details about the heroic efforts of patriots in the American Revolution were weaved into school trips and bicentennial celebrations. In college, I walked along the same Boston streets and stood alongside the shadows of the same historic buildings and landmarks that witnessed the forming of our nation.
While in college, I watched the televised protests in Tiananmen Square, the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, the fall of the Soviet Union and the liberation of former Iron Curtained states. And although this nation has seen its own travesties, it remains the beacon of hope, a model for young republics and the envy of freedom loving people.
In contrast to twenty years ago, the newspapers and cable news organizations of today are comparatively impotent, but the Internet, the greatest and most affordable conduit of ideas civilization has ever seen, has come alive. YouTube, Facebook, Flickr and most notably Twitter have provided instant images and perspective from participants, sympathizers, foes and opportunists alike. At times, feeds of information channels have adopted a mob mentality themselves as revolutions have become participative. Disinformation, panic, fear, lemming-like regurgitation of conflicting stories have been mixed together with bravery, images of compassion, and ever present hope. The naive and the knave, the instigators, the healers, the scholars and the rogues all compete for attention. It is frustratingly difficult to separate the signal from the noise. Yet, if you love the pursuit of freedom, it is also beautiful.
Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” Still, cynics say there is no appreciable difference people sipping cappuccinos or playing on their Wii can have half a world away. That symbols like tinting your profile picture green or other signs of solidarity are equivalent to giving an alcoholic vagrant a dollar. It makes you feel better, clears your soul, but doesn't address the core issue. Maybe. Maybe not. How can you know? Freedom is addictive and any citizen of a free society enjoys seeing more of it. Realism tells us there is nothing we can individually do to affect change. However, realism didn't win the American Revolution. Faith, hope, determination and other intangibles did. So too, do those intangibles work today with every freedom loving movement.
Given our long history, freedom is a relatively new concept to humankind. It is still a fragile thing but it is desirable and we know we achieve greater things when we have it. Whether we broadcast it, or know it quietly in our heart, those who have a taste of freedom will always cheer and help those who are not. And in some incalculable way, make a difference in the process.
According to a recent survey, 65% of respondents agreed with the statement, "At work, I am recognized for my achievements."
I'm creating a piece on recognition and would love to hear from you.What's the best compliment you've ever received at work?How did it make you feel and why do you still remember it?Share your story of a fabulous compliment you received.Selected entries will be incorporated into the article, and if yours is cited, you will get a free copy of “Pushing Back the Ocean”. All entries will receive a copy of the piece once it's complete.
You can email me at Karl@karlbimshas.com with the subject line “Best Compliment Ever”, but why not share your greatness with others by responding via Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or commenting on my blog, Reflections on Leadership.
Thanks for your participation. Today, tell someone else how much you appreciate them.
According to a recent survey, 65% of respondents agreed with the statement, "At work, I am recognized for my achievements."
I'm creating a piece on recognition and would love to hear from you.What's the best compliment you've ever received at work?How did it make you feel and why do you still remember it?Share your story of a fabulous compliment you received.Selected entries will be incorporated into the article, and if yours is cited, you will get a free copy of “Pushing Back the Ocean”. All entries will receive a copy of the piece once it's complete.
You can email me at Karl@karlbimshas.com with the subject line “Best Compliment Ever”, but why not share your greatness with others by responding via Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or commenting on my blog, Reflections on Leadership.
Thanks for your participation. Today, tell someone else how much you appreciate them.
Dreams, aspirations and goals stimulate our imagination, but they aren’t enough for those used to achieving more. Sailing through life rudderless isn’t an option. It’s time to get your ships together. I can think of eight key ships you ought to evaluate for seaworthiness.
Relationship Many times, there are wide variables between our interactions with our significant other, our family members, friends, and colleagues. Are you being authentic in all your relationships? Are all of your relationships where you want them to be or are there some that you could improve? Are there people you sometimes want to throw overboard? Examine your relationships and surround yourself with the best crew possible.
Leadership I believe everyone has the capacity to be a leader, be it of a household, a company, or even a little league team. Any organization of people needs a leader. Someone to set a vision, inspire movement and encourage people along the way. There is something in your life that you’re leading whether you know it or not. It would be better to know it. The helm is yours, captain.
Ownership Although material possessions really don’t matter much in the big picture, when we work for something, scrape and save for some tangible thing we want, like a camera, new shoes, special watch, car or house, the basic pride in ownership is the same. We take care of the things we own. We clean it, shine it, and show it off. We do so because it’s a symbol of our success. Are you taking pride in ownership? Polish the brass.
Citizenship It is a sense of patriotism. Many look at what a country owes them instead of what a country full of liberty provides, like security, tranquility, justice, and the ability to pursue happiness. Everyone’s taxes are too high, but if you think about the value you get for that contribution, it’s a pretty good deal. To function properly a country needs good citizens. A population that educates itself, votes, serves as jury to justice, contributes in ways big and small is one that reports for duty and takes responsibility seriously. Raise the flags, show your colors and salute.
Stewardship Nothing lasts forever, but there are times when things fall under your watch. Leading a team, babysitting a child, living on the planet. No one wants something bad to happen on their watch. Stewardship is treating something that’s not yours as though it were and then leaving it with grace and in a little better condition than you found it. What can you make better?
Craftsmanship Everyone does something well. Something that requires their head, heart and hands. It may be your hobby or your vocation, but it calls you and your work speaks to others. It’s funny how people tend to be the most skilled craftsmen around the things they are most humble about. Devote time to your craft. Practice, hone, improve, excel. Make the engines purr.
Entrepreneurship Start something. You often see a need, a way to be of service that others haven’t thought about before, but you too often ignore your great idea. How faithfully you go about filling that need is your entrepreneurial spirit. It may be risky, but go for it anyway.
Followership Often we overestimate the leader and underestimate the follower. Without the follower, the leader fails; without a leader, followers perish. You must know when to lead and when to follow. Know when to offer new ideas and solutions and when to support and respect existing ones. Respect your crewmates and the command.
Navigating these eight “ships” comes with a fleet of emotions. Pay attention to them. Take care of them. Inspect the hull and scrape the barnacles off from time to time. Send them out to explore uncharted waters. Spend time with them and just enjoy what they uncover alone and working in harmony with each other. Do you have any other “ships” you would add? Let me know.
Dreams, aspirations and goals stimulate our imagination, but they aren’t enough for those used to achieving more. Sailing through life rudderless isn’t an option. It’s time to get your ships together. I can think of eight key ships you ought to evaluate for seaworthiness.
Relationship Many times, there are wide variables between our interactions with our significant other, our family members, friends, and colleagues. Are you being authentic in all your relationships? Are all of your relationships where you want them to be or are there some that you could improve? Are there people you sometimes want to throw overboard? Examine your relationships and surround yourself with the best crew possible.
Leadership I believe everyone has the capacity to be a leader, be it of a household, a company, or even a little league team. Any organization of people needs a leader. Someone to set a vision, inspire movement and encourage people along the way. There is something in your life that you’re leading whether you know it or not. It would be better to know it. The helm is yours, captain.
Ownership Although material possessions really don’t matter much in the big picture, when we work for something, scrape and save for some tangible thing we want, like a camera, new shoes, special watch, car or house, the basic pride in ownership is the same. We take care of the things we own. We clean it, shine it, and show it off. We do so because it’s a symbol of our success. Are you taking pride in ownership? Polish the brass.
Citizenship It is a sense of patriotism. Many look at what a country owes them instead of what a country full of liberty provides, like security, tranquility, justice, and the ability to pursue happiness. Everyone’s taxes are too high, but if you think about the value you get for that contribution, it’s a pretty good deal. To function properly a country needs good citizens. A population that educates itself, votes, serves as jury to justice, contributes in ways big and small is one that reports for duty and takes responsibility seriously. Raise the flags, show your colors and salute.
Stewardship Nothing lasts forever, but there are times when things fall under your watch. Leading a team, babysitting a child, living on the planet. No one wants something bad to happen on their watch. Stewardship is treating something that’s not yours as though it were and then leaving it with grace and in a little better condition than you found it. What can you make better?
Craftsmanship Everyone does something well. Something that requires their head, heart and hands. It may be your hobby or your vocation, but it calls you and your work speaks to others. It’s funny how people tend to be the most skilled craftsmen around the things they are most humble about. Devote time to your craft. Practice, hone, improve, excel. Make the engines purr.
Entrepreneurship Start something. You often see a need, a way to be of service that others haven’t thought about before, but you too often ignore your great idea. How faithfully you go about filling that need is your entrepreneurial spirit. It may be risky, but go for it anyway.
Followership Often we overestimate the leader and underestimate the follower. Without the follower, the leader fails; without a leader, followers perish. You must know when to lead and when to follow. Know when to offer new ideas and solutions and when to support and respect existing ones. Respect your crewmates and the command.
Navigating these eight “ships” comes with a fleet of emotions. Pay attention to them. Take care of them. Inspect the hull and scrape the barnacles off from time to time. Send them out to explore uncharted waters. Spend time with them and just enjoy what they uncover alone and working in harmony with each other. Do you have any other “ships” you would add? Let me know.
