Trouble with Women

Having some fun. I've been publishing about one short story per week. That schedule keeps me writing, keeps me practicing, and keeps me adding new titles into the marketplace for people to read. Trouble with Women is my first anthology of five of my short stories. You can find most on my work on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or iTunes.

About Quitting

In 2008 I published a book, How To Stay When You Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life from Whiner to Winner. I wrote it a few years before that but it sat in a drawer for a while. Before that it was a speech I gave to a few people who were feeling beaten down by work and before that ... well, I lived most of it.

The story is about two friends who are pressing hard at their careers. One is fortunate to be working with a great boss who has mentored and challenged her to be her best.  Unfortunately the other has had the opposite experience. He has been through a heavy rotation of managers, many of whom spoke a good game but never really showed up to play.

It’s a non-traditional business book in that it’s half screenplay and half workbook. I wrote it in the hopes that others would pick up a few tips they could use to help bring positive action to themselves or others who were disillusioned in their jobs.

Naturally I was thrilled to be asked to participate in Ken Blanchard’s LeadershipLiveCast, “Quit and Stayed” on January 25, 2012. As a recovering quitter I know how tempting it is to whine and blame everything on burnout even if you’re acting like an arsonist. For me, I knew I had to learn how to stay, even though I wanted to quit. So I began to re-script my life from whiner to winner.

I started with my attitude; I began to look at things as challenges aching to be solved, not insurmountable problems. Next I began to question what it was I really wanted? The answer didn’t come right away because I was so entrenched by all the things I didn’t want. So I tried a different tactic and asked myself, “Why are you still here?”  After all, when people want to quit, they quit. When they don’t, it’s because some secondary benefit is being met and usually it’s for one of three reasons.

1. To work on your personal development.


2. To work with enriching people.


3. To work on something bigger than yourself.

Figuring that out helped me stay during a rough patch, It helped me to continue to provide for my family and as a manager helped me to reengage with my coworkers.


As a leader it put me in a better frame of mind and I used the same questions to help those who I saw were mentally quitting.

• What’s going right?


• What do you really want?


• What’s keeping you here?


• What will you do in the meantime?

Most people aren’t going to stay in the same position let alone same industry for their whole career. As a leader, if you can help them get to the next place faster, you’ll both be more engaged and productive.

I hope you’ll be able to join the webinar this week or pick up my book. I’ve learned a few things about people, business and publishing in the time that’s passed since it came out, so I’d love to hear your stories and feedback that I may include in a new edition later in the year.

Private Goals

When I was in my early twenties, friends and I used to start the year optimistically with some mantra or pithy phrase for the New Year.

In my thirties, I learned more about goal setting and how to achieve them faster. I also created elaborate documents filled with metrics and dashboards with pictures of success. My success rate was good, but I often became enslaved to numbers, not intent or purpose. As a result, any celebration felt lackluster, if I bothered to have one at all.

In recent years I’ve been getting back to basics and using words as a theme and compass for the year ahead. This year my focusing words are Create, Prosper and Confidence.

You can bet behind each of them I have a specific vision, strategy, tactics and measures of success, but I’ve become far less uptight about the bottom-line numbers.

I'm a believer in broadcasting a piece of your goals so people can help hold you accountable to them, but sometimes a public declaration can take the steam out of it. Once you declared something and people hold you accountable it can begin to feel like an obligation and people helping you feel like nags. This can be positive and powerful for some. I wouldn't have built a business around being an accountability partner if it wasn't. However, some goals should remain private.

They may not be for public consumption but they are no less grand, or inspiriting or noble. These are the secret goals that paint a smirk across your face when you work on them. There's a thrill and deep satisfaction knowing that you’re accomplishing something grand unbeknownst to others. This is the place where the overnight success is born. Away from the spotlight, in the shadows where no one is looking.

Private goals achieved is often far more satisfying because you did it yourself, without outside intervention. You could have quit at anytime and no one would have known or cared. Except you, and you cared, and you don't quit. These ones are too important.

New Year's comes at a strange time of year

New Year’s comes at a strange time of year. 

Some people use the time to celebrate good fortune and some use the time to say good riddance. The New Year always holds promise, and hope. People are determined their dreams will no longer be deferred, their wishes fulfilled and somehow, this year will be the best one ever.

You can adopt this thinking any day of any month. It doesn’t have to be right after coming down from a holiday high when your souped up with sugar or laden with the weight of extra big meals.

Chances are everyone around you is talking about what they want to do, have or be in the New Year, so you might as well use that collective energy as a springboard.

There’s no shortage of tips and programs to help you achieve your goals. Google my name and you’ll come across a few that I hope you’ll pursue, but it’s the last day of the year, so here’s something quick:

Step One: Know what you want.

Step Two: Take action, right now.

Step Three: Notice if it’s working. 

Step Four: If it’s not working, try something else.

Follow the steps above and you’ll accomplish more in 2012 then you did in 2011. 

Enjoy your celebration, in whatever way is meaningful to you. Work hard, 2012 will have challenges and setbacks, but if you stay focused I’m confident you will have a very Happy New Year.

My New eBook ... GO GET IT!

I'm excited to announce my new eBook. Go Get It! Your Guide to Finding Purpose, Setting Goals and Maintaining Success, is the perfect primer for planning what's next in your amazing life. Through quick stories and clear action steps, I take you through a process that confirms your purpose and helps you set achievable goals. You'll also learn how to maintain your success and help others along the way. Download it now at Amazon. Please rate and review this quick and powerful read.

If you wrote every month like you did in November, how productive would you be?

Many people participated in NaNoWriMo this year, the writing project that challenges you to put 50,000 words down within 30 days. I was pleased to have reached over 60,000 this year.

Many accomplished more. Many accomplished much less. And most writers in the world didn’t participate at all.

I find the deadline and daily word count goal to be exceptionally motivating. Others find the whole thing too maddening.

Naturally there are many who had the best of intention but a sickness, or family trouble, or something else stood in their way. It happens. All the time.

Look at what you wrote in the month of November. I’m not talking about the quality of what you wrote, I’m talking about the volume. What if you repeated your performance all year long? How much more productive would you be?

Maybe you wrote a page a day and it took you thirty minutes. Maybe you wrote only on weekends and punched out 10-15,000 words. Every writer is different. There’s not a right way or a wrong way. The only thing that writers have in come is that they write. They carve out x amount of time and produce x number of pages. What were your x’s and what’s keeping you from extending them through the next year?

If you invest a half hour and write 250 words a day you can have over 87,000 words for just over 14 days worth of work. What can you do with 87,000 words?

If you already write with any regularity you can probably write more per day and at a faster speed. So pick your own numbers. It’s your art. The thing is, if you keep it inside, no one is going to see it.

Maybe secretly, that’s what some people want. To be thought of as a writer. How many more years do you want to wait for your first novel, or script, or book? How many years do you want to be thought of as a “new” writer?

Writers write because they enjoy writing. It’s a priority for them, guilt be damned.

Whatever you did in November, do again. Add more words, or pull back a few if you’re tired. You’ve already proven what you’re capable of achieving. Keep your momentum.

they and me can again be We

They can gawk.

They can mock.

They can swear,

and blame,

and fail to understand.

They can fear.

They can demonize.

They can protect what they know.

They can try to keep their status quo, 

with ignorance or denial.

They can rouse their forces,

weaponized beyond proportion.

They can spray the eyes or pull the hair 

of mothers or daughters or elders,

who will no longer sit.

They can crack the heads of unarmed soldiers 

who, for a decade risked their lives in far-off lands 

to preserve the promise of days like these.

They can speak from two sides, 

pretending they don’t betray the constitution,

or morality, or commonsense.

They can tear down tents, disperse crowds 

and destroy property of a free people.

They can invoke the cry of safety

to trump any law.

They can herd the young and old like cattle,

or throw men over barricades, 

like worn-out mattresses. 

They can disinfect parks sullied by occupation,

but not the hearts of an educated nation. 

They can say they'll fix the wrongs.

They can bargain for more time,

in hopes bygones will be forgot.

They will not.

They can try to silence what's already been heard.

They can try to obfuscate what's already been seen.

They can try to blame the odor on others, 

like children who hide the stink.

They can try to ignore the taste of justice 

that brews in cafés and cafeterias and classrooms 

and the places where debate is still safe and welcome.

They can feel satisfied when streets are cleared 

and they think things return to normal.

They can throw money at any problem,

because it is easier to find than good judgement. 

They could find a cure in the sea of faces,

that hold the common man, woman and child,

doing uncommon things for the good of each other.

Then they, and me,

can again, be we.

And we, can overcome anything.

18 Lame Excuses and Their No Nonsense Remedies That Will Help You Grow

Here are eighteen lame excuses I've heard, and given a few times, and no nonsense remedies that will help you grow and get your next great goal.

1. I don’t know what my passion is. If you know you want to do something, but don’t know what, figure out where you’ve been spending your time and money over the last three months. Start there.
   


2. I don’t know what I can contribute. When you strip out the noise, the only thing you can really contribute to anything is your own perspective, and that’s invaluable.


3. I don’t have enough education. Let me Google that for you. Don’t have a computer? Go to a library and start learning.


4. I don’t know any of the right people. They are probably on Twitter, Facebook, or Linkedin. Find them, or the people who know them.


5. I don’t have enough money. Someone does, money is everywhere. Focus on finding the right buyer.


6. I think it’s too hard. So what? If it were too easy, you wouldn’t bother.


7. Someone else is already doing it. It doesn’t matter, they are not you. They don’t have your perspective and set of experiences. Competition makes you better.


8. I don’t know where to start. It’s a two part process; Someplace, and Now.


9. I don’t know if anyone will care. Start with you. All that matters initially is that you care. People follow leaders who care.


10. I haven’t done this before. Everything you do now was once something you hadn’t done before.


11. I don’t think I’m that good. Give yourself permission to get better or delegate.


12. I’ll do it later. No, you probably won’t. You haven’t yet. Revisit #8.


13. I don’t think I can commit right now. What date can you commit?


14. There are too many obstacles. Then you’re probably on to something. Great stories, and great lives, always have conflict.


15. I did everything I could think of. Probably not everything, just the things you wanted to do. Keep at it. Do it again, but different this time.


16. I’m too tired for this. Structure your day to include eating, exercising, resting, playing and working. Everyday you will be simultaneously exhausted and energized.


17. It doesn’t “feel” right to me. Feelings are often used as an excuses to not do something your head knows is right. Feelings are important in their own right, so don’t saddle them as an alibi for inaction.


18. I’m worried people will think I’m crazy. That’s called innovation, embrace it. Be one of the crazy ones.

Building A Writer's Character; 25 Tips, Prompts and Warnings

Below are 25 ideas around building a better character from my forthcoming book, “Write Advice II; More inspirations, tips and thoughts specifically for writers”


Let me know your favorites.

1. If you know every characters’ internal and external motivation before you start writing, you’ll be less surprised by their actions. 

2. Give your protagonist a nervous tick or habit that reveals their character. Make them fold a napkin, slurp a straw, twirl their hair, check their phone incessantly.

3. To find fictional names, open up a magazine and scan the masthead of editors and contributors, then combine the first or last name with a noun. 

4. Often the best villains are the ones that practically mirror the main character except in one or two areas.

5. Are your characters developing? 

6. If your antagonist showed up in an art gallery what pieces would they gravitate to and how long would they stay?  

7. How would you feel if you were in a cafe and you learned another writer was looking at you, getting inspiration for their villain? 

8. What trait do you personally have that would serve your antagonist well?

9. What would happen if you changed the sex of every character in your story and started over? Would your characters be the same if you changed their race, or age? If not, you might not have enough life in them yet. If you change those identities, your characters should change. If they don't, you’ve got some more work to do. 

10. What would your story's antagonist blog about?

11. Put your characters in conflict. Make them uncomfortable and write them out of a predicament.

12. What would happen if one of your created characters tweeted you?

13. Pick up on a random conversation at a cafe and then imagine the backstory or create a new one.

14. Characters that have at least one thing that others admire about them, and one thing that makes them an ass, gives them realism.  

15. Run your characters through something like a Facebook 20 questions and see what they would answer. 

16. Sit your characters in front of Google. What would they do?

17. Would you like to have dinner with your character, or are you worried that they may think you're too boring? Would they pick up the tab? 

18. What’s an interesting and potentially awkward dinner topic to have with the characters you create?

19. Be careful of developing crushes on your characters, they don't love you nearly as much. 

20. Interview your fictional character. 

21. Open Cosmo or whatever they would read and have them take one of the quizzes.

22. Do you know if your characters are left or right handed or are you just assuming? 

23. Insult your characters and pick a fight with them. See what they do.

24. Your characters will tell you when the words don't feel right. Until then, let them talk. 

25. Give your villains something to love and your heros something to hate.   

Look for more in Karl Bimshas’s forthcoming book, 

“Write Advice II; More inspirations, tips and thoughts specifically for writers”


Can't wait? Click Here for the Original

Fannies, Faith and Other People's Goals

Sitting outside, enjoying my overpriced coffee and editing a piece of work over the weekend I was distracted by three lessons that simultaneously converged around me.

Lesson One: Fannies

Earlier I had noted three generations of women, clearly related, entering the store. They were all tall, blonde and attractive for their respective ages. Now, as they left I found humor, and maybe delight in the bar graph they inadvertently created as they walked in a row, oldest to youngest. Amazingly, they were all the same height. The young looking grandmother had her hair down and wore a long cardigan that draped just above her knees. The mother, also had her hair down but wore an oversized sweater that covered her buttocks. The college aged daughter had her hair in a ponytail and wore spandex pants with a jacket that stopped at above her waist.

Moral: As people get older they tend to cover up their assets.

Lesson Two: Faith

The store and surrounding parking lot crawled with people in green and yellow football jerseys. This infuriated one Charger fan in a blue and white jersey with bolts on his shoulders. He turned to his friend who was dressed in church clothes.

“They’re not real Cheeseheads, they’re just jumping on the bandwagon because the Packers are 7 and 0,” he said. 

“They’re winning,” his friend replied.

“They’re not faithful,” Bolt Man replied.

“Faithful to what? People don’t follow losers.”

“They’re top in the division”

“They’re 4 and 3,” his friend explained, “That’s not 7 and 0.”

Moral: When you perform .571 of the time many people feel let down and lose faith in you.

Lesson Three: Other People’s Goals.

A couple was walking toward their vehicle. The man looked beleaguered and besieged as he headed to the driver’s side of his truck. All I heard was the woman say, “Here’s your goal for the week...”

They doors slammed shut before I could hear anything else.

Moral: You may feel like you’re driving, but if other people are dictating what your goals should be, you’re really not.

Process, Execution and Flexibility

This year I’m following scores of writers on various social networks who are participating in NaNoWriMo. There’s already the separation of those who are struggling and those who are very pleased with themselves. As it happens every year, there’s a wide discrepancy in actual word count produced in both camps, which tells me success or failure is rooted in goal setting and personal expectations. One writer may have 2,000 words down and be happy with their progress. Another may have surpassed 10,000 and have crippling doubts about their characters’ motivation.

I take the slow and steady approach. A little bit each day equals a lot over time. I use this opportunity to rebuild my writing disciple. I also want to increase my productivity. I’m not a particularly fast typer and I burn through way too many drafts. For me it’s about process AND execution.

When I planned the novel I’m currently working on I grabbed a cup of coffee and a stack of index cards and started jotting notes on each one. It was a form of brainstorming with phrases, imagery, rough or specific ideas or thoughts, each on one card. After about fifty cards the flow of my ideas began to slow so I stopped.

I sorted the cards, shuffling and reshuffling until some semblance of a story began to unfold. I combined a few cards, tossed some and created a few more. That’s process.

For execution there’s a built in goal to have 1,666 words written each day to stay on pace. I like to overachieve that number to give me some breathing room later if I need it. As for the actual writing, a.k.a. execution, I’ve been using each card as a prompt. This method has been freeing because even though I’ve been writing linearly so far, I know I don’t have to. If I get stuck or bored I have options. I can pick any other card and start writing. I don't care where the character or story takes me between those cards because, as a composer knows, "Music is the space between the notes."

A clear process, regular execution and the flexibility of options makes for a better writing experience. Try it with the other goals in your life.

I’m Participating in NaNoWriMo and What it Means for You

NaNoWriMo, also known as National Novel Writing Month, is a creative writing project which challenges you to write 50,000 words of a new novel in November. 

Purists will note that 50,000 words is a relatively low number for a complete novel. True, but it’s longer than a novella and before you get all hoity-toity, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s, The Great Gatsby has 50,061 words and that’s good enough for me.

For others who recall with dread the agony it took to write a two page essay in school, 50,000 may seem like a lot of words. It is. Nearly 1,700 words per day. That’s one of the main reasons I’m embarking on it again this year. It creates a discipline for writing every day.

People who have read my blogs, newsletters and books over the last seven years tend to think of me as a motivational writer, since much of my work deals with leadership, goals and upbeat ways of tackling challenges. I’ve never considered myself a fiction writer. For some reason I fail to count the half dozen spec screenplays, the flash fiction, short stories, poetry and prose I’ve written over the years as part of my bona fides. For one month a year, NaNoWriMo changes that. 

Anecdotally I’d guess 75% of the people I know either consider themselves writers or regularly talk about wanting to write. Of that number maybe half write with any regularity. Call me old fashion, but I think a prerequisite for writers is that they write. By commiserating and celebrating with other active writers who struggle over managing goals, deadlines, and their inner critic I’m able to summon my strengths from both worlds.

The goal is not to have a completed novel in a month. The goal is to place 50,000 words on a page in 30 days. It’s not about judging if there’s a good enough story worth being told. Having something to edit and refine, ideas to massage and themes to evolve comes later, after it’s done. The point now, is to begin.

In November my social media streams may act as a mood ring. I’ll share the status of the goal and any troubles, tribulations and insights. If you’re involved with NaNoWriMo, consider me a helpful friend who shares in your endeavor. If you’re not a writer, or couldn’t give a crap, that’s fine, simply tune out. I do hope you’ll stick around and see what happens in this word driven laboratory, because as I pursue my goal, you may pick up some hints to accomplishing your own.

A Singular Path to Success?

The only path to success that matters is the one you forge for yourself. You can read self-help books, attend personal development seminars, seek wisdom from old sages and new whiz kids alike. They all have their opinion and if you listen to enough of them you will likely be so utterly confused you'll begin to question your own motives.

For every guru who preaches patience, another advises massive action. For those who say keep high standards and be discerning over the projects you accept, another will tell you to accept everything and learn along the way. For those who say live a balanced life, another says focus only on your strengths.

I'm convinced everyone who has the freedom of choice has the ability to chart their own course. It may not be the route you want to take. You might be bored by the view or impatient with your progress. Those are issues with how you go about enjoying the journey, not about your chosen path. Some will follow well-traveled paths and some take another. As Robert Frost reminds us, that can make all the difference.

Sometimes we need a guide, but this pathfinder does no good if they don't know where you want to go. They ask thoughtful questions that will reveal what you want and what holds you back. If you’re open to seeing it, they can show you the way. The steps you take and the speed you make are completely up to you.

Where do you want to go?

Quick Plotting

A "Back of the Napkin" Illustration

Plotting a story can be daunting for a writer, particularly if they view themselves as an "artiste" and prefer to write by the seat of their pants to see what moves them.

A story well told is one well planned. There's no need to account for every last detail, your muse, inspiration or deadline will take care of those. You just need a general map to get your bearings. 

Who's your Hero and what's their Goal? 

Pretty cut and dry and if your hero and their goal is so compelling and interesting, that may be all you need.

It's probably not.

To add more flavoring, determine your hero's biggest Wants and Fears.

Make those wants and fears tangible by thinking about the Sacrifices and Rewards your hero is willing to make and likely to get. 

Now, let the story unfold and alternate your hero's wants and fears with sacrifices and rewards along the way toward their goal.

If you can plot a story you want to write, you can plot the life you want to lead. You're the Hero in your life. What's your goal? What are your wants and fears? What sacrifices are you willing to make to reach your goal? What rewards have you already enjoyed?

Go. Write. And live the life you've plotted.

Some days I write. Some days I edit.

Some days I write. Some days I edit.

Is Your Writing Better Than Sex?

The Great Writer must compete for Attention and Induce Action

Writing is very personal. It’s a seemingly magical method of capturing images and thoughts from your imagination and putting them on the page in a way that very few other disciplines can. Painters, musicians, sculptors, architects, maybe engineers and extemporaneous public speakers are perhaps the only vocations that demand the inspiration that comes from within go straight to the blank canvass before them. This means they may need to throw away more of their creations than others because they are unfit for public consumption. Everyone should study their craft to continually improve, but the writer has a unique challenge in that they must compete with the rest of the world for the readers attention.

A painting can hang unobtrusively on the wall or be visited in a gallery. Portable music has become the personal soundtrack of many people’s life. A building, regardless of the fluidity of it’s lines, does not move.

To be read, the writer needs to compel the reader to make the time for them. The reader always gets to choose when to pick up your book, or fire up the Kindle and read your work. As a writer, you have no control over whether you will be carried along with your reader, or left on the nightstand, relegated to the bathroom, or placed on the coffee table like an ego stroking trophy for guests to see and enjoy.

Your work has to compete for attention against screaming toddlers, the television, Facebook and countless other distractions.

As a writer your work should endeavor to be your reader’s travel companion and lover. It, (meaning your work, and since writing is personal, it, meaning you) should be called upon during long waits in line, aboard flights and ferries, trains and busses. You should be brought to bed at night where you are chosen over sex or sleep, for at least for a little while longer. If your writing isn’t at that level you will lose. If you achieve that tier of preference, you can be considered a very good writer. To be a great writer, you need to do more.

The great writer doesn’t settle for winning the competition over preference. The great writer induces the reader to think about and do things differently. Perhaps to be a better parent, or to be discerning over which television channel to watch, which websites to visit, which airline to fly, or which revolution to fight. The great writer must seduce and challenge the reader. The great writer, leads with their words. 

You don’t have to be a great writer, but you should try.

Creepy Writers

I recall many years ago, when I was in my late teens, watching some Friday night movie on television with my mother. The name and plot escape me, but I remember it involved a young woman finding the man of her dreams, only to learn he was a manipulative writer who used her as a character in his book.

I don’t remember my feelings at the time, though judging by the horror and disgust on the actresses' face I knew I was supposed to empathize with her. At that time I was barely beginning my discovery as a writer, let alone an adult, and I recall being a little torn. Obviously it was a horrific act to use another person solely for the purposes of researching a character, but don’t writer’s do a tame and more socially acceptable version of that all the time?

Every writer has a specialty they are particularly proud of. For some it is plot or character development, for others it’s believable dialogue or concise narration. To perfect this they observe and learn, constantly. Most writer’s are admitted people watchers, turning boring wait time in line into research for potential protagonists or antagonists. There have been more than a few parties I’ve endured in the name of research. I listened to the boasts of guests, watched the body language of couples, and surmised what interaction or conflict was going to occur next.

To the non-writer it’s creepy to learn that someone is probably watching your every move from across the coffee shop and making note of how you twirl your hair or tap your foot. They are brainstorming how to describe the ubiquitous white earbuds dangling from your head like leftover steamers from a birthday celebration in a fresh way.

That’s why some people don’t trust writers, because they are always plotting. Before Facebook and Twitter it used to be more threatening, but now people put themselves out there for examination much more freely.

Sometimes, when deep into a project the writer will immerse themselves into the world they’ve created. This can be great for the reader down the line, but maddening for roommates or spouses, particularly if the writer is working on a murder mystery or suspense thriller and wanting to capture the look of surprise or pain.

It’s equally dangerous when they are writing of love, or lust, or both. I recently wrote about the dangers of a writer falling in love with their character, this can be particularly problematic if the character is based on someone real. That someone could be a paramour from your past, or an innocent bystander trying to enjoy a latte. That’s the chance you take. The danger for the writer is that the character they have created is a perfected version of someone else and will never love them back.

As a writer myself, I don’t advocate making friends with someone with the intent of writing about them. I also know it’s nearly impossible to not put a little of everyone you meet into a little of everything you write. I’m convinced this is what makes some writers irresistible to the social set who are hoping to be written about. I’ve learned that truth is not only stranger than fiction, it’s frequently not as exciting.

If you have writer friends you should assume some trait of yours, however obscure, has the potential to be repurposed in a far different manner. My advice would be to relax, don’t go looking for it, or worse, asking for it, and if you see it in print, feel proud that you were able to contribute something of yourself to an author.

For fellow writers, you’re expected to make magic out of the mundane, to make illiterate dialogue read like poetry and to give voice to things that speak too softly. I believe it’s okay to use what you come across in life in your writing, but it's never okay to use people for the sole purpose of your writing.